Enough, Spider-Man: No more origin stories!
In “The Amazing Spider-Man,” the new remake of Sam Raimi’s adjective-less “Spider-Man” – because if you remember 2002, you weren’t there – a radioactive spider bites socially awkward teenager Peter Parker, who then gains superhuman abilities and learns that with great power comes great responzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzz….
Whoa, I just had the craziest dream – a nightmare, really – in which no one responsible for creating our mass entertainment ever had an original idea again!
While the gullible spend $13 on a movie they saw a decade ago, I’m going to watch it on DVD for free. Actually, I’ll do nothing of the sort, because – even though I love superheroes more than a man in his late 20s probably should – I never want to see another superhero origin story. And judging by ”Green Lantern’s” box office, neither does anybody else. (Two weeks after the release of Ryan Reynolds’ by-the-numbers film, ScarJo divorced him. Coincidence?)