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About Marty

Marty Beckerman is a #1 Amazon.com bestselling humorist from tropical Anchorage, Alaska — where he got his start as an Anchorage Daily News columnist at age 15 — and is a former editor at Esquire and MTV News. USA Today calls his writing “laugh-out-loud,” Business Insider calls him “the most famous author from Alaska,” and Hunter S. Thompson called him a “morbid little bastard,” which Marty considers the greatest compliment of his life. He lives in New York City with his wife and their cat and Netflix.

Latest News

August 2015: New site design!

March 2015: Marty talked Hemingway on the American Heroes Channel

Marty's Books


'90s ISLAND
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'90s ISLAND

a nostalgia novella
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A literary treatment of the 1990s revival that asks the ultimate millennial question: “What’s My Age Again?”

On the eve of their thirtieth birthday, twin brothers Jake and Zack Hind — bankrupt from the recession and obsessed with the lost golden era of the 1990s — drunkenly create a Kickstarter crowdfunding page for ’90s ISLAND, a tropical commune dedicated to recreating that beloved, carefree decade. When they wake up, Generation Y has collectively pledged millions of dollars.

At first it’s a thrilling return to the twentieth century: ’90s fashions, ’90s music, ’90s slang, ’90s video games, even ’90s junk food ... but the fun turns to horror when Zack seizes dictatorial power, banning everything from modern books to medicine. Jake must stop him — but first he must conquer his own nostalgia.



"The novella has the same over-the-top, manic zaniness as an Austin Powers movie or a Spice Girls song. It’s pure Dunkaroos frosting sugar, with an extra combat boot kick of bitterness."
PopMatters

"There are just enough witty, holy-shit-I-forgot-about-that references ... just enough snarky dialogue and just enough nostalgia to remind you that the ‘90s were one hell of a decade."
Three Guys One Book

"[A] more immersive nostalgia experience than could be gained by reading every '25 xyz from the '90s' posts in succession."
Guyism

"It is tempting to cut and paste huge blockquotes of Beckerman brilliantly skewering/paying tribute to the various fashions and manias of that era, but the choosing would be too difficult."
Decibel magazine



Official Book Site, Inspired By Geocities

THE HEMING WAY
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THE HEMING WAY

just like papa
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A manual for boozing, brawling and bullfighting!

Fifty years have passed since the death of Ernest Hemingway, history's ultimate man, and young males today — obsessed with Facebook, Twitter, and Nintendo — know nothing about his legendary brand of rugged, alcoholic masculinity. They cannot hook a fish, dominate a battlefield, or transform majestic creatures of the Southern Hemisphere into piano keyboards.

The Heming Way demonstrates how modern eunuchs — brainwashed by PETA and Alcoholics Anonymous — can learn from Papa's unparalleled example: drunken, unshaven, meat-devouring, wife-divorcing, and gloriously self-destructive.



"A laugh-out-loud parody..."
—USA Today

"Within this raucous self-help handbook to hairy-chested masculinity (and cat ownership), as exemplified by Papa Hemingway, lurks a serious message: turn off the TV, log off Facebook, and get out there and live! A great choice for manly men and/or couch potatoes."
—Booklist

"The book is full of chuckles... Beckerman had a fun time writing it and that shines through... It’s a quick read and worth the time."
—The Faster Times

"[A] pitch-perfect parody..."
Idaho Mountain Express

"Five stars... a gem... I was in pain from laughing too hard."
—The Collegian, Independent Voice of Kansas State University

"The Heming Way is hilarious. ... For a satirical work, it is remarkably well-researched and thought out.”
—The Baylor Lariat

"The book is a great read. ... Beckerman carries the reader through with wit and intelligence, taking a shot at everything in his path... highly recommended.”
—Beatdom.com

"[A] funny, smart, and satirical look at how men can reclaim their manhood…"
Volume 1 Brooklyn

"A funny collection..."
—Kirkus Reviews

"I think it was Gore Vidal who said Hemingway was a joke that only America didn't get. No longer!”
—Mark Simpson, coiner of the word “metrosexual"

Read Excerpts At Official Book Site

DUMBOCRACY
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DUMBOCRACY

adventures in politics
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An iconoclastic critique of the True Believer mentality and the vanishing of American centrism. Marty spent four long years with foot soldiers of "the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots," and found that — whether it's banning free speech to protect feelings or to enforce religious morality — fundamentalists of all stripes have very little use for civil liberties.

About.com named Dumbocracy as one of its "Top 25 Political Humor Books" of all time, alongside volumes by Bill Maher, Al Franken, P.J. O'Rourke, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and The Onion.


"[A]musing, and often laugh-out-loud... Beckerman's research is, to put it in very clear terms, exceptional."
—The Guardian

"[A] great book."
—Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"[F]unny and gleefully provocative."
—The Boston Phoenix

"Dumbocracy is a thoughtful book with great shock value geared to awaken, entertain and enlighten Marty's generation about the freedoms embedded in our Bill of Rights. Beyond the spoofing, it is passionate, scholarly, and delivers the message that young people need to hear."
—Former U.S. senator and presidential candidate Mike Gravel

"[H]ilarious yet powerful... many of his rants are on point. ... And if he makes young readers pay attention to politics, more power to him."
Penthouse

"Beckerman uses the deft and subtle touch of a sledgehammer. If you can read this entire book without being offended, then there is a good chance that you are illiterate. If you can read this entire book and not enjoy it, then there's a good chance you take yourself too seriously."
—Christian Lander, author of Stuff White People Like

"If offensive humor is your thing, then Dumbocracy will be your bible. ... [I]f you like South Park, The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, you won’t be able to hold in your laughter..."
Oregon Daily Emerald

"Beckerman ... goes beyond tipping the Sacred Cows of American Politics; he eviscerates them, bathes in their blood, makes suspenders from their intestines, and runs naked through the field of carcasses. He’s profane, mean-spirited, obscene, and damned hysterical."
Pajiba

"[S]creamingly funny yet deadly serious... should be required reading... A review can’t really do Beckerman’s book justice... Nor is it easy to do justice to the genius of his writing."
—The Moderate Voice

GENERATION SLUT
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GENERATION SLUT

the college sexperience
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Published by MTV Books when Marty was a college junior, this novel/exposé took readers undercover and under the covers, exploring the emotionless hook-up culture that ultimately led to the disconnected modern era of Tinder. It also chronicled Marty's own youthful adventures in trying (and spectacularly failing) to get lucky.


"The work is a surprisingly nuanced critique of contemporary culture."
Washington City Paper

"Hilarious, and just a little bit sad."
Yale Daily News

"It's a funny but also complex book... Beckerman is such a strong fiction writer..."
Suicide Girls

"[C]hilling... skillfully edited... disturbing..."
Booklist

"The U.S. literary scene is in dire need of a young, outspoken, original bomb thrower. Enter Marty Beckerman... [one] of the best young writers around." —Bookslut

"The fiction is much better than you'd expect from a college kid..."
Identity Theory

"[H]ilarious ... while at the same time sobering and disturbing."
Metro Toronto

"Just the right mix of shocking, tragic and hilarious. The work of a 20-year-old genius."
—AbsoluteWrite.com

"Generation S.L.U.T. firmly establishes Marty Beckerman as the Lenny Bruce of his generation. The best and funniest book about young lust I've read in ages, yet also sweet and romantic in ways that will get him laid a lot."
—John Strausbaugh, former editor of New York Press

"[P]owerful... Beckerman depicts sympathetic people who behave in hateful ways and, in doing so, manages to capture something essential about our generation."
—The Brown Daily Herald

"[S]cathing humor-cum-social commentary... Beckerman is reckless, onanistic, and indulgent on an Eggers-ian scale. He's also a sick, funny little fucking motherfucker."
San Francisco Weekly

DEATH TO ALL CHEERLEADERS
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DEATH TO ALL CHEERLEADERS

the early works
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In 2000, at age 17, Marty self-published his "Diatribe Against Teenage Plasticity" and sold 1,000 paperback copies from his parents’ basement. It's a sarcastic rant against the superficiality, conformity and popularity-obsessed idiocy of high school.

(No cheerleaders were harmed in the making of this book, although Marty lost his $15/week teen reporter gig at the Anchorage Daily News for asking a cheerleader how it feels "to be a urine stain on the toilet seat of America.")


"A hilarious gash against hypocrisy..."
—PopMatters

"Funny stuff. ... Marty is a very precocious smart-ass..."
—New York Press


"His articles show the evils in this world as he sees them, and take us through the typical teenage rites of passage. ... His talent, wit, and confrontational nature promise him a bright future."
—The Mitzpeh, the University of Maryland's Independent Jewish Newspaper

"Marty comments on what others would simply accept as standard practice."
Netsurfer Digest

"Once the initial shock of Beckerman's profanity and hatred wears off, there are some highly readable and humorous gags. ... Frequently hilarious."
—The Anchorage Daily News

"[Beckerman is] able to have you rolling on the floor in a convulsive fit of relentless laughter. ... It is very well worth the cost. Don't miss out on this one."
Union Weekly, California State University, Long Beach


Most Popular

My Chat With Hunter S. Thompson, Gonzo Journalism Legend

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Marty Beckerman Gets F**ked In The A** By His Girlfriend And The Dildo Of Revenge

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Picard For President

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Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome: Help, I Broke My Dick!

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Spermboarded

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Hi, I'm Marty, And I'm A Recovering Republican

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I Tried ‘Cosmo’ Sex Advice And Lived To Tell

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My Day In Jeggings

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How Sarah Palin Ruined Alaska

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Tales Of A Groomzilla

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What Hemingway Would Think Of The Internet

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The '90s Are Back -- What Does That Mean?

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10 Things I'd Tell Myself About Women If I Had A Time Machine

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What You EXPECT Will Make You Grow Up Vs. What ACTUALLY Does

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5 'Holy Sh*t' Moments A Guy Needs To Be Happy

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The Untold Story Of The Naked Doggy Door Girl And Her Viral Arrest

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What It's Like When You Can't Stop Pulling Out Your Hair

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A Year Without Ned Vizzini: Brilliant YA Author, 'Teen Wolf' Writer, And My Best Friend

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The 11 Least Sexy (But Most Accurate) Signs Of True Love

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Marty's Videos

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Quotes

"Religion isn't the opiate of the masses -- it's the steroid."

Marty Beckerman

"If my liver were a person, I'd be arrested for attempted murder."

Marty Beckerman

"If you'd replace an honest society with a polite society, you're a danger to a free society."

Marty Beckerman

"Conservatives will someday oppose human-android marriage for endangering the traditional same-sex family."

Marty Beckerman

"Los Angeles is a beautiful place on the surface but a toxic air is slowly killing you on the inside. Also, there's smog."

Marty Beckerman

"The difference between a cult and a religion is the former has startup capital and the latter has a steady revenue stream."

Marty Beckerman

"A politician must convince crazy people that he's equally crazy while convincing sane people that he's perfectly sane. Only a crazy person would attempt this."

Marty Beckerman

"Why am I so obsessed with my own penis? Oh, I dunno. Probably because I have one."

Marty Beckerman

"It's dangerous to always think with exclamation points instead of question marks. Your stance on any particular issue is far less important than whether your worldview is a product of inquiry or incuriosity, whether you feel more comfortable questioning the crowd or blindly marching with it."

Marty Beckerman

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